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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Something to Die to, What I Let Running, Brother, Easier Living (The Cactus Song), and Now.
1. |
The Highway
01:52
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I wish that you were deaf and
spent your life tending to plants.
I wish that you were happy now
But in the past, you had been sad.
I wish your eyes would cool me down
And gentry force me back.
I wish your braided hair were roots
That snuck into my past.
I wish that you were beautiful and
That you didn’t care.
I with that you respected what is sacred and
That you didn’t have to ask.
But here you are. A highway.
My wasteland cut in half.
Something dangerous to cross before
I continue on my path.
An open bar.
A neon sign that’s selling me my past…
I wish that you accepted me
In being what I am.
I wish that you corrected me
When I would drift too far from that.
I wish you told the truth and thus
Never had to act.
I wish that I could trust you
But here you are. A highway.
My wasteland cut in half.
Something dangerous to cross before
I continue on my path.
An open bar.
A neon sign that’s selling me my past.
A filthy little hiding place that that waters down my craft.
All void of cars is the highway
On lookout for some light.
One could flash by any second
and I’ll be fragments in the hites.
No cigar,
But you’re so close in a landscape so vast.
Many small correction-waves instead of a crash.
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2. |
What I Let Running
03:27
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I have no idea of where I’m going,
But I feel I’m nowhere close to there yet.
I really need to keep my wheels a-rolling
To keep up with the pace I have set.
I’m gonna take this car
And drive it along
On foot I’ll never reach my thoughts a-roaming
I’ve been grinding hard
And to catch my teeth off guard
I must get up to speed with what I let running.
I live by the foot of a big mountain.
It’s mostly made of steel and glass.
Above it is an upside-down fountain
That submerges what I wish at my command.
I’m gonna take this car
And drive it along
On foot I’ll never reach my thoughts a-roaming
I’ve been grinding hard
And to catch my teeth off guard
I must get up to speed with what I let running.
Claustrophobic panic-pressure stowing.
Intelligent inconvenience.
Uncomfortable is my mind growing.
I’m sick of making sense.
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3. |
Amber
03:09
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Hyperventilating amber in a transparent grail.
This heart-warming geyser is a tub for my brain.
It comes from afar, and it’s made right here.
Dry, tinted, bloody and perfectly clear.
It’s getting kind of lonesome here, junior.
I’m down on my knees. Ocular endemic disease.
Talking ‘bout tomorrow as if it comes free.
Everybody’s looking, but nobody’s willing to see.
Those eastern cherries.
Trap obsolete.
Stuck in the quicksand, that is Islay’s peat.
Well, well, well,
When I throw my coins in thee,
I down all my chances of owning my deeds.
It’s getting kind of lonesome here, junior.
I’m down on my knees. Ocular endemic disease.
Talking ‘bout tomorrow as if it comes free.
Everybody’s looking, but nobody’s willing to see.
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4. |
Amber pt. 2
01:31
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5. |
Brother
04:03
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I know that you were ready, brother.
Your course was set and steady, brother.
I know you’d do great, brother.
I know that I’m late, but brother
Wait for me to say what I’m thinking.
Even the slightest of winds
Put in your back
Would carry you in
Those times it blows in your face,
Close your eyes.
You don’t have to play,
But please stay.
It feels like you’re sinking, brother.
I know what you’re thinking, brother.
How badly you want to be drinking, brother.
I know that you’ve been shrinking, brother.
How does that make you feel?
Tell me ‘bout your mother.
Even the slightest of winds
Put in your back
Would carry you in
Those times it blows in your face,
Close your eyes.
You don’t have to play,
But please stay.
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6. |
Penguin
02:32
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Put my name inside the jar
Picked me up, I got the part
No-one knows how far we are from ending.
Blaming them was never smart
It’s hard to tell just what they thought
Maybe they were thinking like a penguin.
You think you’re close,
It’s perfectly clear.
Even though you’re not even near.
You may be right to shatter from fear,
But if one doesn’t know, one shouldn’t steer.
I have no home,
But at least I am alone.
Haven’t been bothered in days now.
Scrolling the tome. Any day now, I will know.
Can’t see the fog for the haze now.
Haven’t been bothered in days now.
Be careful what you step upon.
You’re one look from being stone.
Your values can be altered while you’re blinking.
Ethics-leaking reservoir,
You know what? Chances are:
You’re not as heroic as you’re thinking.
It turns out that I’m very ill.
But it seems I ain’t that easy to kill.
Pity for you I’m not on the pill.
With the penguins’ son came the phoenixes will.
I have no home,
But at least I am alone.
Haven’t been bothered in days now.
Scrolling the tome. Any day now, I will know.
Can’t see the fog for the haze now.
Haven’t been bothered in days now.
Haven’t been bothered in days now.
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7. |
To Which I Owe the Pain
03:57
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Full of stripes, and of stars.
Can one night be this dark?
Feel the space between the bars.
Feel the pace of the heart.
I zoom in, I zoom out.
I feel pinned by the doubt.
I’m so small from the sky.
I am all, I can’t lie.
I really understand and buy the claim.
You stop the mind, you don’t need to complain.
It’s beautiful to notice all these things.
But also it’s so awkward and so lame.
It’s weird to be without using your brain.
Now every day just seems to be the same.
And I’m so fucking peaceful I’m insane.
It hurts, I’m scared and nothing is to blame.
It’s safe to say I never got the game
to which I owe the pain.
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8. |
F.O.M.O.
02:11
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Whichever path you choose take
You’ll fear you’re missing out.
Could be the master of a trade,
But why and which and why, why?
Why and which and why, why, why?
All the dollars you can make
If you choose not to hang out.
I never want it to be fake,
but everything’s made up, yeah.
Nothing’s really up here.
“All or nothing” is what they say.
But wait a minute now…
If both of those ways are okay,
What’s up in the midst?
There could be something hid there.
Of all the colors you can paint next,
which one leaves no doubt?
You really sure about that shade?
What if it could be better?
I guess we’ll never get there.
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9. |
The Wheel
04:06
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And suddenly…
My inner eye became a gentle giant wind.
That blew all of my thoughts away by treating them like kin.
There’s something in between.
A zone of true relief.
And once I laid my eye on it,
it couldn’t be unseen.
To this It may be fair
To look at and compare.
It’s pried in like a shield for me, so I can be prepared.
It took me thirty years,
Nineteen of which in crippling fears,
To find a place where I can be and nothing else is here.
It’s good that this day came.
Whatever happens: all the same.
I still haven’t felt happy yet, but I’m glad I’m not in flames.
I am the thing that sees.
I am the thing that feels.
I am the thing that’s dealt to, and I am the thing that deals.
Just let go of the wheel, and you’ll know:
Thoughts aren’t
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10. |
Turn it All the Way
04:22
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Hold on firm but tender
To whatever it is you found.
The sooner you surrender
The shorter the time you’re bound.
I’m thinking of your story.
How all your resources are spent.
How you just can’t afford it
With all the truth you have bent.
You’ve suffered prematurely -
So let this be the end.
Imagine me in all my glory.
As if I was okay.
Behind you I’ll be smiling for you.
You must return to faith.
Don’t look at me over your shoulder.
Keep on looking straight.
When you turn your back to me, make sure you
Turn it all the way.
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11. |
Living When You've Died
03:31
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You’re still here in the morning sun
mourning son
You’re in the wind.
You’re in the sound.
You’re not around.
Everywhere I walk, you’re in the ground.
Your body is dead, but it still has you bound.
You’re not around.
Your picture’s on the wall over my bed,
So if you would fall you’d fall in my head.
Where you’re never dead.
It kills me to see you getting killed in you.
Trapped in a shell of eternal gloom.
The void won’t let you through.
If you would want to end it, no one would chide,
Because you are so strong, and so strongly admired.
You’ll keep living when you’ve died.
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Paul Bäcklin Sweden
“Something to Die to” has a certain brightness to it. Not a pleasant bright, like a sunny day or the glitter on a lake touched by a breeze. More like the light in “light-headed”. A dizzy, grainy light with a high pitched sinus tone to match it, ringing in your ears while all other sounds move back into the distance. The type of light you might expect to see when being on the verge of passing out. ... more
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